CW: Mild gore

Eddie Clark is a murderer.

Eddie Clark is a hero.

Eddie Clark was too late.

The Sno-Cat is caked in blood; Linda’s restraints float in it; ripped and torn in the way only one so devoted to a singular purpose can achieve.

Eddie’s gun is still raised, hand just now beginning to shake, the shot still ringing in his ears.

Linda is rising, drifting along with the music of Antarctica, untethered, unchained, by the gunshot wound to her head. The broken shard has already slipped from her fingers.

Kelpie—Allison—isn’t breathing. Her face pale, as her blood leaves her. Her eyes; glassy and dead.

This was the moment. The one moment when Eddie Clark could finally pull the trigger. Now two lie dead is this Sno-Cat.

Nobody else dies.

[Transcript:]

“Lieutenant Commander Ava Bennet, speaking how can I-“

“Clark? Oh, Clark! Good to hear from you. I thought you…”

“Wait- what fleet? Say that… “

“Holy shit. How did I- I remember, of course I remember, how would I not? How would I… what’s wrong with me? Look, Eddie, where are you now?”

“I’m sorry I just don’t have the time; we’ll have to reschedule… I know, I know, speak to my receptionist. I was only informed I’d need to brief the new admiral yesterday… well, of course it was… the last… Andrea? Andrea… you- you stay away from me. I don’t want anything to do with- I can’t deal with this… stop following me- stop- guards! Can you…

Wait…

if he doesn’t remember, you’re out. Follow me.”

“…you are speaking to the secretary of defence. I advise you to keep that in mind when you address me. You have four minutes left of your time, spend it wisely.

Who else have you told this? Whether I remember or not is of my concern only, answer the question.

Make sure it stays that way- well, that’s certainly not ideal, but we’ll come to that later. Thank you, lieutenant Clark, we’ll take it from here; you can forget all this happened. Your five minutes are up.”

“By God! I do remember something like that happening, I remember giving the go ahead in this very room. George, am I glad you introduced this man to me! Come sit down, sit down. Do you drink? And don’t bother about that ‘Mr President’, Tom’s fine.”

“The fleet… how could I- Now, hold it there, dangerous you say?”

“Tell me, Lieutenant Clark, the Russians, the Chinese… they don't know anything about this, do they? Well, that certainly complicates matters… Just thinking out loud here, gentlefolk, but something so dangerous that none of us seem to remember… well, we wouldn't want such power to fall in the wrong hands, now do we? I sugge-“

“—Yes- yes, Lieutenant Clark… I understand how dangerous you think this is, but you don’t seem to be able to tell us anything about what it is, apart from reminding us about our lost fleet… can you please try and compose yourself…? Really, Clark, I thought we were friends here, but if you don’t have anything positive to contribute then there is really no need to have you here… Mr Humphrey, can you take Lieutenant Clark somewhere where he can calm down? Yes, thank you… Ok, gentlefolk, where was I…? Oh, yes. Now, clearly, we must try and get a better understanding of what’s going on. Keep an eye on Clark, I don't want him speaking to anyone…”

‎

Downtown Los Angeles, 400 W 9th St #101, California.

‎

Eddie blindly follows his hands as they scramble across the desk, looking for keys.

There’s never enough time. Where the fuck are they…

He starts yanking on draws he didn’t know existed, a dog is barking loudly.

Come on…

His hands glide across something unexpected. He stops. Paper… not the shitty stuff he uses to draw that highrise, the kind of stuff you’d get in a letter - an important letter.

I’ve… got a few minutes.

He pulls it out of the drawer, but it tugs something else with it. He returns his hand and grips… it.

Oh.

It’s a cassette. He doesn’t need to read the label.

Eddie’s Cassette

He can’t remember why he had to insist it was his. But… for some reason he always smiled when he saw it, like a forgotten joke. He stood in silence for a moment, then pulled something else out. Placing the cassette inside of it, he pressed play, nodding perfectly in time with:

‎

Hi.

…

It's 2 AM. Well, one… forty three twennn…ty!

He breathes in, pushing deeper and deeper, sucking all the dust out of the room until his lungs nearly burst. Until he’s forced to speak again.

-Today is an important day.

In about thirty minutes time… it will have been four months since I last discharged myself from hospital.

A much longer pause follows. He was certain he was going to stop recording, to give up on the whole stupid idea. But he wasn’t just doing it for him.

So. Uh…

…

Max. Dr. Max. No, Dr Max Hoot.

‎

Both Eddie’s listening smiled at that one.

‎

Max said I should try to commemorate these moments. He thinks, no. We agreed it might help me to have a better grip on things if I celebrate milestones.

So today, I’m… gonna talk about how far I’ve come.

‎

. . .

‎

It all started six months ago. I don’t remember why, or how, but I got back to an apart- my apartment. And then I just… cried.

…

I can’t remember exactly what happened, but it was like… nobody was listening to me. As if everyone had moved on without me.


I remember that I tried to call Mom… or Dad. But they wouldn’t pick up. That wasn’t helping, they hadn’t been picking up, for a while.

‎ ‎

. . .

‎

I’m… I’m not proud of what happened next. But it’s important I own it. So.

So I went to a bar. There was this group, uh… one of them chucked their drink on me and…

…

I woke up in the hospital. I checked out against advice and the next night I went to a different bar. I kept going, bar to bar, all through the night, looking for new fights.

And I did repeat it, at least six times.

I can’t explain why, but there was something about it that felt right. Like I needed to keep fighting. But… you can’t keep fighting, not forever. I kept the casts to remember that.


I went to South Africa. I… just needed to get away, and that felt far enough from here that it would be enough. But I was wrong, I wasn’t ready.


It’d just been ruled that my parents were missing and… it took me to a dark place. I spent the whole time at the ranch feeling like-

‎ ‎

. . . The words that follow are broken up, teary.

‎

-like there was someone I was supposed to be meeting there. That… I’d let someone down.

‎ ‎

. . . A broken voice continues.

‎

things got worse. i found this note i’d wrote a few weeks later, it said to go to Berlin and to find… i couldn’t read the name.

i walked around aimlessly for days until this elderly couple found me and got me out. when we got back to the states they sponsored me and…


I spend Thanksgiving with them in Vermont each year now. They’re like my guardian angels.


I moved to California not long after. Something about the Redwood forests helped me.

He smiles to himself, the next words are said with joy but are forced through - holding back sobbing.

It was one hell of a bumpy ride even then… But-

‎ ‎

. . .

‎

-sorry, I’m really not making sense

A cathartic sigh follows.

I kept having these nightmares. They were of… Aethiopia. It’s- uh… Greek. It means ‘burnt-face’, the Greeks used it to describe the southernmost lands they knew of, because…

…

Yeah. That wouldn’t pass today, haha.

…

…

It was the idea of getting burnt by the sun… It haunted me. Like…
like I’d spent my whole life-
trying to flee the shade-
and now that I’m in the Sun-
I’m supposed to be happy but-
I’m not happy-
I’m burning-
and-
and-

‎ ‎

. . .

‎

A tense silence is filled by hyperventilation. It goes on for exactly twenty nine seconds. On the thirtieth it is disrupted by the loud, guttural roar of an injured animal.

‎

More silence.

‎

It's over.

‎

Until-

‎

But… things are getting better.

…

I started volunteering with the Coastguard Auxiliary. I found that I was getting the same high from fighting whenever we saved someone. Uh-

… (!!)

I met a guy.

Well. I guess technically, he met me. But.

We’re going on a date. Soon! He’s uh… taking me to ‘Cape Disappointment’ up in Washington - he’s promised me it’s actually really enjoyable.

Audible panting, then sniffing, can be heard.

And obviously I…

yes! hello you!

I can’t forget about Blu. He was actually my first rescue. He’d been abandoned, ended up in this horrible cave when the tide changed, nearly drowned - I had to resuscitate him. There was this… carcass there. It was… strange. They call it a ‘globster’ apparently.

…

I owe a lot to him. Bluey… definitely helped me pilot my way out of this mess.

‎

A phone's alarm starts to ring.

‎

SHit-

Okay. Well I need to get on. Tha-

The tape ends.

Written by Charlie T.